Things that we have to REMEMBER when we first hire a nanny for our baby:

• JANGAN kebaean untuk sudah beliin baju suster & sepatu suster (seperti yang sudah aku lakukan)
• JANGAN beli passport suster atau buatin passport suster kecuali terpaksa (hilang dhe uang gua karna gua uda beli passport suster lama gua)
• JANGAN kebaean ajak ngomong yang gak perlu (nanti kurang ajar,dia malah nyuruh nyuruh majikannya)
• JANGAN pernah kasih bayi kita ke suster jika bayi nangis terus di tangan kita (kita tetep pegang terus sampe nangisnya selesai) karena nanti tuh suster malah ngerendahin kita.
  kalo bayi nangis, langsung aja ambil karna seorang ibu PASTI lebih baik dan punya hati daripada suster
• JANGAN pernah percaya ngomongan suster, harus cari temen atau tanya sodara, gimana cara terbaik untuk ngurus anak. Karna kalo percaya suster itu sama aja digoblokin.
  kita yg suruh suster (misalnya kapan mandi, kapan kasi susu, brapa bnayak kasih susu) BUKAN suster yg suruh kita. Dan remember again JANGAN percaya ngomongan suster. Contohnya kasus barusan bahwa sasya kata suster tidak mao bobo dan mao dimandiin. Untung gua gak goblok dan gua liat sasya mata merem yah jelas mao bobo lah.

Intinya adalah: I never said there are no kind nanny in this world. There is (like there is a devoted husband), but the percentage is small probably 2:10. Percentage devoted husband maybe 3:10? Heheh :P

So for those who have a good nanny and devoted husband, you should be thankful to GOD =)

Hope this reminder also can help some of you and also can serve to me as a reminder how to handle nanny in the future.

PS: I hate my previous nanny that i deleted all video and picture that shows her face!

Baby Leg

Today is the first time sasya wore her baby leg (yes, been bought by ii iki again). It really looked so cute and adorable. I hope that when Sasya has mastered her crawling, baby leg will help her prevent from scratches. :) thank u baby leg

Ps: today also the first time sasya slept in her own crib (caden's previous crib).

Baby Boy, Baby Girl

Bruises all over

I am feeling painful all over my body. Shown in the pictures are some bruises on my leg and hand that usually come out when I feel really tired.

These bruises are the worst that I've ever experience before. Even so, I still take care of Sasya full as my new nanny, who was just came yesterday, felt sick and coughing badly.

Sasya and my husband is the love of my life. Sasya's smile make me feel I am strong again.

Living two Lives

... You will never be free again
You live two lives now,
Hers and your own.
There will be a lot of nights without sleep.
But happiness beyond
Anything you ever thought possible.
Surprises, amazement…
For she is your diamond daughter.

The Love of My Life

Only when holding your new baby gently in your arms do you experience the true meaning of love - unconditional, total, complete surrender to her every need.

Family Day Out

Last weekend, we decided to go out for lunch even though we do not have a nanny yet. So off we go to grand super kitchen, accompanied by my maid.

Luckily sasya cried a lot, causing me to eat only a small portion of the feast that my husband ordered (dimsum, shark fin, black pepper crab, steam fish, fried rice, morning glory). ^_^

Best Buddies Forever

ZzzzZzzz.....

This is what we (daddy and mommy) did when Sasya is sleeping with us. Hehehe...

We still play with little Sasya even though she is sleeping.

Daddy usually sang a song (using his out of tone voice which make Sasya woke up a little while) and I always kiss Sasya all the time 24/7.

We love u little Sasya.

PS: Daddy said Sasya has to sleep with us until at least she is 1 year old...

Bye Bye Bye

Yes, I finally have sacked my nanny as she has made my little baby suffer for about 3 weeks. (I do not wish to talk further about what that nanny did to her)

Now I take care of Sasya myself, Although my maid help me here and there; in bringing water for Sasya's bath time and washing Sasya's bottle, I often feel really tired but I feel very happy to go through every minute of my time with her.

Seeing her happy is everything for me. I hope she will be a happy and strong girl to survive in today's society.

PS: Her routine now is pretty much eat (every 2.5 hours – 60 ml formula) and sleep.

When ii Iki and koko deden visited us

REBORN

Dedicated especially to my husband and my child, I truly love both of you.

Also, to my oldest sister whom God had sent to me as an angel.
Thank you.

To the people who experience the same feeling. I hope this will give you strength. And to the people who do not understand what is going on in my life, hope this will make you understand more of me.

Title: Life
By: myself

Thank u God for all Your blessings
Thank u God for all Your care
Although I have forsaken You
But again and again You touch my heart,
Touch my soul
Make me realize that I am wrong
Make me open my eyes to a greater experience
That I know some of you might not feel it before

This is a feeling I cannot describe
But for some of you that might not be as lucky as me
To be given this feeling by God
Let me try to tell you that, this feeling will make you LIVE!
Make your heart tremble with Fear
Make your heart beating with Joy
The GREATEST JOY that you would not want it to end
Yes, it is Addictive as you will soon beg" JESUS...
please let me feel it again."
For I myself do not want it to end
For I have gone mad thinking, "Will this joy go away?"
Yes I know it will, gradually, If I choose that path
If I choose that road.

I first thought to myself,"
Yes, that is my path."
So I tried to go through that road
I thought I could do it
I thought it is the right thing to do
in this timeline, in this society

So, I carried the burden inside my heart
Knowing that my GREATEST JOY will soon fade away.
If I continue that path
If I continue that road
Keeping my burden, at first to myself
But as days goes by, my darkened heart kept on trembling
Tremble with fear, tremble inside my deepest heart
Make me awake at night
Feeling scared, feeling mad
And I soon pushed away those who love me for who I am,
those who really care about me.

"What is happening to me God?" I asked.
"What is the meaning of this?
Why nobody could help me,
Why nobody understand?"

You! Who think that this is just an act.
Who think that I am weak.
Who think that I am a spoilt brat.
Let me tell you that You are Right!
Yes, I am weak. Yes, I am a spoilt brat.
As I am just another an imperfect creation of God
Who have tried that path which you wanted me too and I have failed.

(Again, let me describe further)
As the feeling I have inside of me has made me
do what I would not have done before in the past
To go against everybody's will
To go against the normal society would do

This feeling has made me feel that I am on top of the world
Yet sometimes this feeling has brought me down
Down to the deepest ocean floor
Feeling helpless
Feeling confused
Now, I ask myself "Do I want to go through that path?
That path that I first once chose?"

(I thought to myself)
It has been a while since I felt that
Life for me is breathing
Breathing blindly day by day
Going through my life like it is a routine going on and on
Without knowing what is the feeling
To be excited in welcoming the next day
As I know that I will experience the same exact feeling again

It is meaningless it is empty
I do not feel that it is right
I do not feel that it is mine
To go through day by day feeling EMPTY
Once I read a phrase,"This is life, so let us live!"
But "Why God, You have given me life?
What is the meaning of life for me?" I questioned myself
Is it doing the thing that I do not want to do?
Is it doing good, growing old and die?

God thank You for You have shown me
That I HAVE to Follow My Heart
Even though I know that some people will hurt me
Even though I know that some people will mock me
But God, thank You for giving me STRENGTH
And make me realize that this is the right path.
The path that will make me feel I am living

Even though I know that This Path is not easy.
As I might soon feel miserable
From those people who mocked me and judged me for who I am
But I do not care
As I have chosen to go through most of my life with you.
You, who has given me joy
You, who has made everything beautiful
I need you...I need you to show me what is life meant for me...

This feeling I cannot hide
This feeling is real
It made me experience tears of Joy
It also made me experience tears of Pain
So helped me God
Please give me STRENGTH
To go through my life day by day
This path that I have chosen
In spite of what I should have done
To take all the consequences whether good or bad
As now I have learning to be a full grown woman

God, I felt that this is right
I felt that I am being Reborn
So, please helped me God to be firmed in my decision
Thank You, God
What more could I ask?
I am so lucky you are mine
A loving caring husband
A healthy baby girl
A supportive family
What more could I ask?

Please God once again, I plea Thee
Help me go through this path
This path that I have now finally chosen
to be the path that will make the most of my memories in my life
Again, I cried to Thee
Help me God
Give me STRENGTH
Tears will fall
Sorrow will come
But this is MY LIFE
And when it is time for me to grow old, sick and weary,
I do not feel worry or sad
And I could still smile and said
Thank You Jesus, Thank You JESUS
For I HAVE LIVED

Especially dedicated to my loving husband and my child.

Please remember
That both of you are mine
Both of you are the best thing that has happened in my life
I could not ask for anything better

Although I have hurt you in the past
Although I have make you sad
Please remember that I am not perfect
Please forgive me for the things that I have done wrong

I treasure you as both of you are the two MOST important people in my life
My child and my husband

YES, I believe!
That you are GOD'S GREATEST GIFT in my life

Sasya's Cute Hair

Sasya's hair has grown. The funny part is that the hair has grown in the middle,left and right part of her head which makes her even more cuter and prettier :p

Thinking of You

Two months already passed and mommy has to be back working again. Although it has been quite hard for mommy to leave Sasya everyday (to not being there for Sasya when she may need me the most i.e. when she cry), mommy know that GOD will always protect Sasya and guide the nanny in taking care of Sasya in the best way possible. Mommy hope that Sasya will always love GOD, love mommy and daddy; and to become a good daughter. Miss you always.

Faithfull is He who has promised

Are you passing through a testing
Is your pillow wet with tears?
Do you wonder what the reasonn
Why it seems God never hears?
Why it is you have no answer
To your oft-repeated plea.
Why the heaven still is leaden
As you wait on bended knee?

Do you wonder as you suffer,
Whether God does understand,
And if so, why He ignores you,
Fails to hold you in His hand?
Do black doubts creep in, assail you.
Fears without, and fears within,
Till your brave heart almost falters
And gives way to deadly sin?

All God's testing have a purpose-
Some day you will see the light.
All He asks is that you trust Him.
Walk by faith and not by sight.
Do not fear when doubts beset you,
Just remember - He is near;
He will never, never leave you,
He will always always hear.

Faithful is He who has promised,
He will never let you fall.
Daily will the strength be given
Strength for each and strength for all.
He will gladly give you peace,
Till your tired and weary body
Finds its blessed, glad release.

When the darkened veil is lifted,
Then dear heart, you'll understand
Why it is you had to suffer.
Why you could not feel His hand
Giving strength when it was needed,
Giving power and peace within
Giving joy thru tears and trial,
Giving victory over sin.

So till then just keep on trusting,
Thru the sunshine and the rain,
Thru the tears and thru the heart-aches,
Thru the smiles and thru the pain -
Knowing that our father watches,
Knowing daily strength He'll give,
Victory for each passing hour,
This is life, so let us live!

Quoted : John Em Zoller

Daddy love Sasya

Daddy always hold and kiss Sasya the moment she was born (of course I always remind him to wash his hands first) :p

Sasya as a baby kangoroo

Another present form Ii iki, I called it "Kantong ajaib" (miracle pouch) from the Doraemon song.

Happy Sasya , Happy Mommy

Today Sasya wore skirt for the first time in her life! And Mommy wore my pre-pregnancy jeans ever since 11months ago!

So we decided to show off to Opa!

Happy life here we come.....! :)

"Mumus"

Mumus (a word my cute nephew, Caden, has creatively created, short of "Selimut", which means "blanket") is one thing that I had learned from my oldest sis, Claudia.

She has taught me that children need something to make them feel calm, safe and secure. This is true for I have experienced it myself! (At this old age, and not to mention that I have one child myself, I still cannot get rid of my historical pillow :p)

I hope Sasya's mumus can help her go through the pace of life a little bit easier.

Mommy or Nanny?

Saturday is finally here. I woke up early at 6.30am to prepare Sasya and myself to go around the neighbourhood to visit Kung kung's, Ci Feny's and Ci Rita's house.

And while Sasya will be very happy to meet her cousins, at the same time she will get some morning sunshine which is said to be good for babies.

I carried her non-stop for the whole morning journey (from 7am to 9am). And I tried my best to gave her milk myself and today, it takes me 1 hour to give her milk.

I felt really sad ever since 2 days ago when Sasya was crying so loud when I tried giving her milk and held her. Sasya cried so loud as I tried to held her for more than 1 hour, until I finally gave up and give her back to her nanny. :(

Has Sasya felt more comfortable with the nanny compared to her mommy? Has Sasya forget her own mommy? I surely hope not! I hope this would be just a phase that she is going through.

That is why I promised myself that on Saturdays and Sundays, I will take care her as MUCH as possible. I hope Sasya will feet more comfortable with me than to her nanny.

My love to her...

This blog is dedicated to my princess Sasya so she can read my experience ever since she came into my family.

A Great Big Thanks especially to my mom (oma) and my oldest sis (ii iki) who help me SO MUCH from the day I was pregnant, gave birth, until now and until forevermore...hehe.. Love u all

Today 14 nov 2008

The time is 11.48pm and I am sitting here (again!) on my comfy bed, pumping my breast milk. And AGAIN Sasya and Daddy have already fallen a sleep beside me.

I used to feel that I have plenty of time everyday, but since Sasya came into my life, I started to feel that I am always being rush by time. Now, 24 hours a day is not enough for me.

Today I went to work for half day. I came home and a contractor is already waiting for me to teach me how to use the CCTV camera which has been installed a few days earlier. I have decided to use it to make sure Sasya is in good hands while I am away for work.

At the same time while the contractor doing that, I ate my lunch. Before even I can do anything else, Ibu Widi, the post-natal massage woman whom I hired, came.

A lot of phone calls also have to be made (for Sasya’s birth certificate, things about work, and so on). I realize if I tell you the list of my work will have no ends. I decide to stop here telling about my hectic lifestyle.

However, I don't mind it at all as I really truly madly deeply in love with Sasya. Although she has indeed changed my life routines (for one, I am not able to have a straight 10 hours of my beauty sleep), I am glad, thankful, extremely excited and grateful in so many ways to have Sasya come in my life.

Words cannot express my feeling of love to her.

I realize it only seems like yesterday that Sasya came into my world and now, she has grown so big --- It’s getting quite heavy to carry her for a long time.

I made up my mind long ago to spend time as much as possible with Sasya, to enjoy and experience what it meant to be a mother.

My two sleeping beauties...

…whom I love very much!

Sasya Loving it!

Today is the second time Sasya swim and now she could use her handsand feet to move about in the small swimming pool!

She learns so fast!

Spending as much time as possible

Being a working mom automatically means, I have to spend a lot less time with my daughter L hiks hiks….”

I would love to have as much bonding time with Sasya as possible.

Therefore, although long ago I had decided that Sasya has to sleep in her own room, in the end almost everyday she slept with daddy and I in our bed. Hehe…

The Cutest Baby Girl Ever

Hi all, I am Sasya :)

Remember we will always be together in good and bad times

Sasya miss Ii iki and Koko den den

PS: This was taken at Grand Indonesia a month ago when they visited us.

Cute little Sasya as Kung Fu Panda?

Is there any similaries between them? ^_^

Like Father, Like Daugther

Shaya 2 Months old

Taking picture in Bali, at our hotel Ritz Carlton.

YES! Sasya went to Bali on 7October 2008 (exactly 2 months age). I could not bear to leave her home in Jakarta.

First Experience: Swimming

FIRST TIME Sasya swim swim in Mommy's and Daddy's room.

I was so excited to see my Sasya. She looked so cute with that neck float.

She loves swimming so much that she did not cried at all.

A Good Habit

Teaching one to pray is important from young. Although Sasya may not understand it as this age, but I intended to teach her the value of praying very soon, just like my sister taught her Caden.

Thanks a lot Ii iki. You are my role model as the best mom!

Meeting ii Ali

Today is the first time Ie Ali see Sasya. Ie Ali, Oma, Opa, Daddy, and myself went out for lunch together in Golden Jade Kitchen in Kelapa Gading Mall.

Today is also the first time Sasya went to Kelapa Gading Mall =)

Shaved Bald

It has been 40 days ever since Sasya was born. Mommy, with the help of Ai, shaved Sasya’s head, eyebrows and eyelashes as this is a must in Chinese tradition.

Although I was told that shaving help in making Sasya’s hair grow a little healthier, mommy also put on kemiri in Sasya’s eyebrows just to make sure the eyebrows grow nice and thick!

Besides that, everyday Sasya use aloe vera in her head for 15 minutes just before her bath time =)

Hope this will make your hair look good in the future.

Cute, nice, adorable and cuddly, I am Sasya :)

How time flies...

I still remember the times when my sister and I were young. The memories seems like yesterday, yet it was so long ago.

Now both of us already had a child, and maybe one of us will have another one soon. *Let's see how is first* ^_^

Oh how time flies really fast...

Cousin

Sasya's only cousin, Caden, came to visit us. And we are very honored to have them stay at our place for the whole 2 weeks of their vacation here in Jakarta.

Caden loves Sasya a lot, he always look for her and demanded to kiss or hold her.

We hope they grow up to be a good best friend for each other

Someone who loves Sasya...

... A LOT!